grand canyon pictures, concerning where I live.

My life here at the grand canyon has been pretty good. I thought I'd post, at the enormous curiosity, and the constant misconceptions at where I'm living.

The first picture is the view about 100 yards from my cabin. You can't see much by way of pictures, because of those tree's always seeming to be in the way. there are outcroppings of rocks that you can stand on, if you insist on taking a good picture, or if you demand on seeing the whole canyon. There are better views than mine too, mine is just a side canyon.

Here is a picture taken from one corner of my

cabin. and the one below is from the corner I took the first picture.

besides the armoire and desk, here is a picture of all the fixtures I have in the cabin. a kitchen, separated by a wall, and a bathroom. these are all along one wall you can see. and the little area that closes the porch a little, is where the toilet is

it's hard to measure accurately with eyes as deceptive as mine, but I might guess it's about 15 x 12 feet.

.

Here is the desert, Sarah. The area that has a field of Lupines, and various grasses, like kentucky blue grass (invasive) thread and needle grass (native), Lupines, sedges, herbs and shrubs. there is a cute little population of deer in this specific area, that consists of a mother and two fawns. This forest is ponderosa pines, and quaking aspen. the dirt you see before the grass is the parking lot.

Most of the North rim, on top of the rim, is this same ponderosa pine forest. The burned area's are generally over run with new mexican locust (which look a lot like mesquite to the untrained eye) and gambel oak. There are very few places where it is hot enough to grow cactus, but where it is hot enough, it is mostly because of the "canyon effect" where the hot air from the canyon creates a micro-climate just at the rim.

the montane desert scrub we've all come to expect from the grand canyon occurs only at certain area's at the north rim, and within the canyon. as does Pinyon/Juniper forests.

Now you know.

Paul Wheatons videos

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRsd8Dazfc4


here's a link to a video by a man called "paul wheaton" i'm going to upload his videos that I think are interesting from now on I think.

from what i understand about the guy, is that he roams around looking for people to interview, and make a small video about, those who successfully use unconventional means of farming. he doens't really profit from it much either from what i understand. so, those who are subscribed to my blog, i'm sorry, you'll have a lot of permacultery video's to sort through....

He's really quite an amazing person for finding these people, driving hours away, then filming them, editing the tape, and everything while he has a day job.

oh well, even with him alwyas sounding incredulous, i like his video's anyway.

a part of my will

this is an excerp i think. from my will. be sorry for those who have to sit through it... cause.. geez. how many funerals do they have to attend?
maybe you're bored already. well, feel free to not read.


I want to be cremated. A funeral is fine, a viewing, or whatever, but that’s just going to make it more expensive.
I realize our government doesn't like ashes spread.
But I would like mine spread anyway. The government means nothing to me on this point.

Spread some at the canal up the dirt road from the Peterson's on 4oo south in Wellsville. That’s where we used to spend the summers swimming. I floated down that canal countless times. We picnicked there as kids. My soda exploded on the way up from the vibration of the bicycle on the gravel. It made a hole in the paper sack, but didn’t ruin my sandwich.

Go up the road a little farther, to the kerrs gate. Spread a little there. It’s where Gideon poked my eye pretending to be a werewolf so we could both ride faster down that hill as scared kids. That’s a day or two after lucky showed up, panting on a Friday, hiding in the shade under the truck.


Spread some at the Wellsville dam. That’s where sarah and I had our wedding party. I wore a holed up shirt. She wore a dress. I grilled on the bbq my friend josh made for me out of a barrel. It’s also the first place… well, I won’t finish that sentence. It’s the place we used to fish as kids. Power bait is supposed to work well there, or worms. As kids we used salmon eggs. the fish always knew which ones were on a hook. Caleb sunk up to his thighs there, and we had to ride home in the back of the station wagon with the back door open. It’s the place I learned how to skip a rock.

Spread some on top of the wellsvilles. Where my and my friends always camped. Clear at the top. In that little bowl with the pine tree’s. put the ash where, if it were a person, it would have a view of the whole valley.
Go to tony grove in logan canyon. Hike up it, like you’re going to white pine lake. Hike over a hill to your right, and walk until you find the end of the stream. It’ll be a watering hole in the canyon called bunchgrass. Spread a little ash there. It’s the place sarah scared off that moose that walked feet from her. We sat there together, in the first year of our marriage, while she was pregnant with Charlie during the archery elk season.


Put some more in the wellsvilles. Right under the first bowl, where the juniper and apple tree grows. We had picnics on easter there, as a family.
Sprinkle just a touch on maple rise. The place we would go on the fourth of july to watch all the fireworks in the valley.


Put a little on the banks of these bodies of water: Cutler dam. Newton dam. Porcupine. (someone go to the silver mine on the church property, and see if that little wood building is still there. Finish carving my name if you can find it). Mantua lake, benson marina. And a little on that little river called clay slough where we shoot carp. don’t put a speck on Hyrum dam. There are some good memories there. Most of them make me sick to think about.


Drop some at willow park. Actually, across the street. One or two tree’s in. that’s where Liz and I went, and ate on our brand new quilts. We ate Arby’s. that’s a place I’ll never forget. I’ll watch over that spot, if someone could please make sure there’s ash of mine there.


Someone will have to leave cache valley at some point. Throw a little ash at rendevouz beach in bear lake. Where we used to have a family reunion every year. My fondest memories of most of my family are there. I remember riding in the back of the old blue ford ranger f250 lariat under a camper shell, that was stuffed with supplies we would need.


Go to the place I used to live. Where my dad left home the last time. It’s where I started my family. It’s the place I lived when Charlie was born. I had my most intimate moments there. I failed at my first shed there, and built my first chicken coop. they’ve replaced that now though, with their own chicken coop, made from my failed shed.


Go to boise, out to eagle, and get lost on some back road going nowhere. My dad an I rode there together I’m sure. Sprinkle a little bit of me out the window. And think of me riding there, with my dad before we’d go back to my apartment and sit in the hot tub while salmon cooked on the grill. I’ve never felt more free.


Some of the most miserable time I’ve ever had was at a place called pebble beach. It’s out in the dessert in the outskirts of boise. There are a couple hooch’s there. Put a little… but only a little of me there.


Just off the freeway, there’s an exit that is blacks creek road. Pull off there, go across the railroad tracks, and where they dump a bunch of trash a couple yards later, put some of me there. We used to shoot whistle pigs there. And rabbits all hours of the night. That’s the first time I ever did anything with Nate, really. Lila got mad at me, because nate couldn’t hear for a couple days.


Put a little in the hay loft at grandma’s house. And some at the swimming hole behind uncle toms. Throw a little in the fields that used to belong to uncle Limon, Kay murray, and vern Anderson. My first job was moving sprinkler pipe for them. Put some in the swamp in uncle toms field, where we got the back hoe stuck.


Go out to Clarkston. To vandells property. That’s where I camp sometimes, where I was camping when I shot my first buck. I’ve made a lot of memories there. While you’re at it, put some across the street from tony’s grove turn off. Where we camp during the elk hunt. That’s the same place Josh, and Gid, and I took Josh’s kids camping for the first time. Where he introduced me to those eggs you hardboil, wrap in sausage, roll in crumbs, and fry.


Find where the disc golf course used to start at usu. Put some there. We used to work off a lot of hangover, and talk out a lot of problems, and shoot a lot of shit around there.


To montpeliar. Anywhere really. Mont is Boop. If you go there, drive through, and go to Afton. It’s a beautiful place where I really enjoy my time when we visit sarah’s grandparents.


San angelo? Yes. Put some there. Across the street where that building burned down. We walked on glass, and jumped from trailor to trailer. We found tadpoles behind that place, and caught them. We put them in the bird bath so we could watch them grow. Birds ate them. We used to think that house was haunted. Gids fault really. He would tell us he woke up and saw ghosts here or there. A headless one walks through the grandfather clock. One with chains did this or that here or there. We would vacation there every summer for the hottest two weeks of the year. We would swim a lot of the time. I have a lot of very fond memories of everyone in my family down there.

If you have ash left… bake into a cake, and eat it.

Devin

What were the images that danced in your head?
what did you see that was so unbearable?
your brother told us how you became his hero. You saved his life during a hunting trip with your red riders.
i carried the table that held your ashes, before those seven rifles made three reports to heaven. I remembered when we were kids. remember wrestling on my front lawn? we pretended like that fiberglass was money, we shot play guns at each other. We didn't know we were practicing.
how did you feel in Haiti?
what did you do in Korea?
the wounds you got in Iraq were too much.
the load you had to carry was heavy.
you were a hero to more than just your brother.
I'm glad you loved life so much, I'm sorry it killed you to take another.
I'm glad you lived. I'm glad you were family.
Good luck.

permaculture.

so, permaculture has become fascinating to me.
for those who don't know, the name is derived from "permanent" and "agriculture"
created by bill mollison, and another guy i never remember the name of.
another huge player in the permaculture movement is Geoff lawton. google his name, and "greening the desert".

anyway. i've decided to incorporate the idea's of permaculture into my mothers yard.

the idea is that the property is designed after a forest. with every level, and everything acting as something beneficial to the forest. the catch though, is that it's an edible forest. or a "food forest"


this has made me think of everything differently. i've realized that you don't need to till, or mow your lawn as much as one might have you believe (watch out neighbors, for fire hazards coming your way) i've also realized that insectacides, and herbacides of any type are unnecessary.

i will post the steps i'm taking as i take them. and the information i get as i obtain it.

plans for this year:
1 add grapes, strawberries, and raspberries to the existing perrenials around the yard.
2 propagate some apples tree's from my existing tree's to plant in the field.
3. plant legumes, maybe an oak tree, and some different nitrogen fixing plants around the property.
4. turn the apple tree's into guilds, by killing the grass (which competes with the tree's) and replacing it with comfrey, and other deep root plants that will bring up nutrition to help apple production, rather than hinder it.
5. i have 5 chickens. i plan to expand the chicken population. this property has a grasshopper problem. which really means a grain-bird deficiency.
6. fence of a portion of the yard to keep rabbits.

this year my goal is to harvest as much of the food that is already here as i can.
including
garlic chives
chives
horseradish
rhubarb
lemon balm
wild mint
berries
apples.
plums
also, i will expand my operations into the mountains as a sort of "guerilla gardening" situation.
i will also harvest as much as those foods as i can.
including
sego lily bulbs
choke cherries
elder berries
black berries.

i realize this is a boring post for most everyone who decides to read it.
i'm sorry.

i'm also interested in starting a group for permaculture in cache valley. i'm interested enough that i've started a group in face book called "cache permaculture"
though it say's "cache" anyone can join. my plans are to start a real group that actually meets in person to talk about it, exchange idea's, and exchange surplus.

sour dough continued

it's a success! (so far... kind of)

two days ago i made pancakes with sour dough. they turned out perfectly.
theni tried bread. "huh, i think i'll cook this bread before it'd done rising. it can rise in the oven while it bakes" bad idea. i just got a brick of cooked dough.
so i made another. i waited patiently, allll night for the sour dough to be ready, then alllll day for the bread to rise. i didn't let it rise twice, like i'm supposed to... not enough time in a week for that! so i had sarah cook it. she didn't taste it, but i think it's delicious. she yells at me "clean up after your experiments"
experiments! sour dough was used by people who thought the world was flat! the recipe i used for bread is the same age probably
(2 cups sour dough,
3 cups flour,
2 tbls oil or butter,
2tsp salt
4 tsp sugar,
bake at 350 for 30 minutes, don't preheat the oven)

it was a delicious success. and a loaf of bread for less than 75cents

today i made cookies. the same cookies my dad has made since i was a kid. i don't know how he made all of his cookies the exact same looking. none of them deviated from the mold. but he used a spoon to put them on the cookie sheet... so i dont' get it.

success again. delicious, when dad made them, you couldn't taste them the next day, because there were never any left!

i gave a taste to sarah "is there supposed to be that much baking soda?" what a taster. I can taste what she's talking about if i really strain. but two bites from a gallon of cookie dough! ridiculous!
last night i cooked for grandma... stuffed green pepper casserole. this dish has become my favorite dish ever. it's tied with shepards pie actually.

sarah has never tasted it. i cook it once a month about. she never tastes it at all. doesn't like how it looks.
doesn't think burger should ever be mixed with rice.
her biggest reason in the past, is that she doesn't like green peppers. well, sarah, explain then why the next day (last time) you prepared sausage and peppers for three meals in a row!

well, i've had the suspicion for a while now that it's simply because i cooked it, and not how it tastes, or looks. sarah's blog confirmed this. now she openly accuses me of "experimenting" even when my measurements are precise, and the recipe is old, tried, and true.
(oh, hi honey. i see you're reading this, and yelling at me. well, go eat some cookies)

Sour Dough

I've been making sour dough. i'm excited to make bread out of it.
here's how you make sour dough.

1 cup flour
1 cup water
mix it, and let it sit for a while. at least once per day, feed it. discard half of it, and add one cup water, and one half cup flour.

when it froths all the way through, cover it (but not too well, let it breathe) and put it in the fridge. feed it once per week.

when it's time to cook with it, take it out, add one cup flour, one cup water, and let it foam up real well,
this is called proofing, the result is called sponge.

take two cups of sponge
three cups flour
three teaspoons sugar
one teaspoon salt
one tablespoon softened butter, or olive oil, and mix it.
let it rise, pound it down, form it into a bread pan, let it rise, then bake it.

i will do this with pancakes, waffles, etc. the best part is, it's cheap.


this has resulted in me doing a little more research for a drink my dad called 'hooch'
i'm not sure what kind of yeast he made it with, or anything. i doubt he did either. he usually just got a start for it.
well, so i think what he was making was kvass. it's a russian drink made with yeast and juice. it's commonly consumed like soda, even with the small amounts of alcohol in it. (it's not enough to be considered alcoholic)

poor water through wheat, or rye bread.
the water will be brown. mix it with some dissolved sugar, and 100% juice. let it ferment a couple days (let it breath sometimes, so it doesn't explode)
i haven't done this one yet.
i'm trying the bread right now.
if the bread isn't that great, because of how i did it, maybe i'll use it for kvass... who knows.

Bee's

trapping bees:

there are different ways to trap bee's mainly 3
1. lure a swarm into your box. this is the approach i use. it's worked twice. set up your hive above the natural fenceline. bee's will fly above fences. using a box that already has bee's in it is preferable, but not necessary. there are other scents you can use to lure them. this can take years to finally lure in bee's.
2. catch a swarm. this is the easiest way to do it. post adds in local places that if they find a swarm of bee's to call you. describe it. it's usually a football sized group of bee's resting on a branch. if you find it, simply cut the branch off, or shake the bee's off into a cardboard box. then transfer it to their future home. i like to seal up their home for two or three days, so they can't get out, and get used to the place. when you finally open the box, make sure it's in a good position for them. high up, no blockage to the opening etc etc etc.
3. transfer an existing hive. sometimes bee's root themselves in places nobody wants them. like in a house, in an old tree, etc etc etc. there are a few ways to lure them out, first, simply cut them out, and repair the thing. if it's a tree, just kill the tree. or you can set up a box outside their opening so they have to fly through it to get anywhere, make sure it's set up for bee's. eventually the queen will make her way into the box, and start laying there. when this happens, and there is enough brood in there, take the box, kill the bee's in the hive (or, if you don't mind, let them live, maybe they will reproduce a queen, and you will have another hive next year when they regain their health)
it's best to do this in the spring. the reason is, you will severely weaken the hive. stimulate growth of new bees by feeding them sugar water. the spring is the best time for this. the first year with your bee's, you may harvest honey, but be careful not to harvest too much, or they will starve throughout the winter. i think this is what happened to mine.

this is not even close to even half of what there is to know about bee's. but is all i will post right now.

Donkeys

Donkeys.

wild donkeys can be trained very easily.

step one: isolate them.

if they're lonely, they will seek company. the donkey is a social animal. don't ALWAYS isolate them. only at the beginning, or when it's necessary.

approaching them. if you can approach them, don't touch their face first. touch a less offensive place, like the shoulder. scratch. never pat.

it's not a good idea to get them to come to you based on food or treats. instead.

step 2. walk up to the donkey slowly. do not let it run. before it runs, walk away from it. do this as many times as it takes. you walk closer to it every time. walking away from the donkey rewards him for his courage. do this the first and/or second time you approach him.

step 3. after that, walk up to him, if he runs, walk up to him until he stops running. it is in his nature to stop at some time to look at you. when he stops you stop for about fifteen seconds, then continue. note: you are NOT chasing him. walk calmly up to him.
usually you will only have to do this once. after this, it will be easy to approach even a donkey that was a few days ago from the blm. if it does take a few times, it's ok. sometimes walk around the whole field for hours just to scratch him on the withers.

this throws him off... he thought you were a threat, he'd avoided you as a threat for a long time... now you just scratch him?

spend time with him, talk to him. everyday go out and at least scratch his withers.

donkey do not need shoes. however, his hoofs do need trimmed, every 9 months.

donkeys can sense intentions to a degree, so do not get angry. have perfect patience.

when you trim his hooves: first, make him comfortable with you grabbing and lifting his leg. do this while on your daily visits. it's simple. while you're scratching or brushing him, brush down his leg a little. just as much as he's comfortable with. eventually, get all the way down. when he's comfortable with you grabbing his leg, squeeze gently on his calf, and lift. brush his hooves, and clean it out a little, and drop it. reward him with love and praise. if it comes time to trim his hooves, and you have not got him used to it yet. make sure the man you hire to trim them does NOT just throw a rope around him, tie him down, and trim the hooves. it's important they just use drugs. the reason is this: then they remember the last time they were trimmed, they just stood there, they do not remember they were drugged. though, this usually costs more.

donkey's love praise. conversely if you punish him, he will remember it. so punishments must not be harsh. example, if he bites you, leave for the day. that's it. do not hit unless he does something dangerous. if he kicks or shoves, i hit. it has to be immediately, never too hard, and leave him before he runs from you.

this is important: always leave him. NEVER let him leave you. even after a walk, when you release him, before he realizes he's loose, walk away.

a donkey is often thought to be stubborn. this is always the case when there is some degree of mistrust. a donkey will NEVER do ANYTHING that he thinks will hurt him.
i shouldn't say never. or anything i guess, because if he trusts you. and you always protect him, never hurt him, and lead him around enough, he will trust you to the degree that he will walk right up to anything.

tree's

i've been reading alot about tree's. and pruning them.

apple tree's.

it's best to prune apple tree's during the early spring. you can prune them a lot without causing lasting damage. if you are pruning your tree more than a third, you should wait for he next year, or spread your pruning out throughout several years. but is very difficult to kill a tree.

things you need to take off, and can anytime: dead. anything dead, suckers. suckers are any branch that is going straight up. mostly it is at the base of the tree. it's very often NOT apple tree that is growing at the base, since apple tree roots are stuck with a more hardy rootstock. it's probably usually poplar. if your tree dies, and you let a sucker grow, it won't be apple tree. but it will grow into a tree that maybe beautiful...
it's better to let the tree seal its self.

other things to prune, but is best in the winter or early spring:
1. any branches that are growing down.
2. any branches that are dying
3. any branches that are rubbing against other branches.
4. one of the two that are competing for the peak
5. any branches that are growing Inboard.
6. any branches that have a bug living in them, which may prevent the bug from reaching the base of the tree, eg. if the branch is hollow, but the tree is not.

there are a couple of different reasons to prune an apple tree.
1. thin it out. it's best for apple production to have airflow, the less apples growing on the tree (proportional to it's size) the bigger the apples will grow. (so if there are too many growing, and you would rather not cut the limb, thin out the apples as they come in)
2. train the tree. sometimes based on the location of the tree, it is best to train it to grow away from an object. it may make the apples easier to pick if you keep it low, or in a shape. also, shaping the tree to a pleasant look.
3. safety. if it will grow into a power line, or if it already has grown into a powerline. (for example)
it's not a good idea to top the tree, since it will encourage suckers to grow at the top of the tree, it is a bad idea however, if it's to prevent growth. it will stimulate the tree's growth, if you don't mind trimming suckers later.

if a deer or something eats the bark off the tree, it is dead. there needs to be a link of bark from the bottom, to each branch at LEAST, since water and nutrients are passed immediately underneath the bark. if your tree dies because of this, letting a sucker grow, will not solve the problem, as it will most likely NOT be a fruit bearing tree.

houses

well... a couple days ago, sarah and i decided to maybe instead of re-finance, look for a different house since it was the same process.

so we found one. of course, we couldn't make an offer on it, until our house is under contract, unless it were contingent on us selling our house.

well, yesterday, the realtor came over, and said someone had put an offer in on the house we want.
then he put our house up for sale. then as we were leaving someone called and wanted to see our house. they saw it at seven. then around eight thirty our realtor called, and said they wanted to present an offer last night. so he came and presented an offer. they offered full price. we accepted, and put an asking price offer on the house we want in newton.

now you know.

alot about nothing

well. Christmas was ok. lots of good presents. charlie got blocks, a baby ipod, and a few other things. the blocks are my favorite. i play with them we all do. who wouldn't? it's a game. stack it as high as you can before charlie comes to knock it down.

my poor sister tried to drive to boise on christmas day. she hated it because she didn't leave until late because all the roads were closed. my cousin josh stayed at my house all day. two things.
i would've invited him places. i guess i kind of thought he had plans... i don't know what i thought... but oh well i guess. second, lila and nate were bored together, and would've had a blast with josh probably.

i know, this should've been first probably, but i din't want it to be the first thing people read when they get here. my uncle, Josh's dad, my mom's brother Fred died.
we all knew it was coming. so we took pictures with him. the thing is, I took all those pictures. a lot of priceless pictures. all erased. gone.

my grandpa is going to die soon too. he's been in the hospital the last couple of days to get fluid out of his lungs. his heart is doing it. he may need dialysis too. he doesn't have much longer.
we couldn't go to my uncles funeral. i hope we can go to my grandpa's (heaven forbid it's really soon)

i found a bunch of letters my dad and mom wrote to Gideon while he was on his mission. it's neat to read. my dad was a worse speller than i thought he would be. they're all full of advice, it's neat.(sorry gid, if it was personal, and now you're angry)

well. i lost my job kind of. well.... i did. they have no more for me to do. i was working as a laborer for some electricians on a hotel in logan (the new marriott) well... they finally ran out of things that one does not need a license for so i'm out. i've been playing a lot of games, and now i'm "blogging" (i think that's what the kids are calling it these days) now too. so... that's kind of nice.

couple of fella's my sister knew died in an avalanche or something. poor fellas. she missed the funerals, because of christmas. one was a newly wed. they were 23 and 22 years old. it happened christmas eve day.
i guess that's what she gets for having friends (that's not really MY words)
we've all got one foot in the grave, and the other on a banana peel i guess.

i suppose i really have nothing to say here.
charlie's doing well. and so are all of us.

Pika Don

i have written a small short story. i liked it. so i am posting it.

feel free to skip reading this.
for those interested in plagiarism. feel free to it.

My name is Amaya. I’m afraid my telling you this will do you no good. Hearing history does nothing for preventing it happening again. To learn this we must only look at history. In this we can read of surprises some have had, and prepare for them ourselves.
I have no family now. Even if they'd survived I might not have family. My family was happy once, before the years of fear, before the years of death. I had two older sisters, and a younger brother. My father was called out to war. That was only the beginning of that time, the war took my father, but the end of the war took my family. My father never agreed with the war, he said he knew a general that visited America, and liked them. He went to fight with that general, and died with him and everyone else on Iwo Jima. He was an honorable man. My family had gathered together when he left, to live together in Nagasaki. grandma would talk about her days in this old fishing village. She would speak of our church, and pray to Mary with candles every day. Her smile was always so friendly to me, her face was kind and experienced, the gold tooth seemed to accent her worn out face, and it tried to hide the suffering she had seen in her life. She said she had seen much. She would tell me of her Christian friends, who were not allowed to live here, but these people who were too poor to leave, so they were killed. People she called her childhood friends. People who are now phantoms, phantoms like grandma now is.
"Tell me about your friends gramma," I would beg. I was ten years old, and didn't understand why it pained her to tell these stories. But she always did. "Tell me about hitomi" she first told me that story to warn me against the river. I was very young, and had never learned to swim. I did not know anyone that did. When she finally conceded, she would look to my sisters, to see if they wanted to hear. They always did. We slept in the same bed, my grandma never wanted to tell a story if someone else didn't want to hear it, my sisters loved her stories. Though of suffering, these stories were well told, and we loved to learn of her life.
"If you want to hear it, I will tell you then. Close your eyes, in case you want to sleep. When I was fourteen, my younger sister always wanted to play with us. She would beg us, and we would say yes, only when my mom made us, or when she had her friend hitomi with her. Hitomi was her age, twelve. We loved her because her eyes were always so innocent. Her face always would smile, and she would say to us "if you don't want us to play with you, you are welcome to play with us" and gave such an endearing smile, that we always had to say yes. One of these days we would be playing with her, we raced boats under the bridge in the river. She made the most beautiful boat. She drew all over it. It was the finest boat I had ever seen, she was proud of it, and her wonderful eyes shone when she first showed it to us. We went to the bridge, and raced these boats, from one side to the other." At this time she would pause, and examine us. Now I wonder if she was crying in herself, as she gazed at her granddaughters. When she was satisfied we were still awake, or when she was finished gathering what it took to finish, she started again, this time slower looking off, as if she were watching herself play with these boats again. "We would gather these boats up at the dock, because they would float right under it if we were lucky. And the first to retrieve the boat was the winner. Hitomi’s proud boat sailed beyond her reach, she tried, oh how she tried to grab it. She of course fell in, her beautiful eyes panicked as we shouted instructions to her. Who knows what she heard? No one could help her, because we didn't swim. She surfaced a number of times as we followed her down the river, shouting for help. And at the next dock, when we pulled her out, her beautiful eyes no longer shone" I always missed this ending. I would fall asleep, Grandma would sit in the dark for a while, remembering those years she lived. Soon, because life is too fast to think about, she would go to bed herself. She would cry, because an old woman who doesn’t cry has been foolish, and gets un deserved credit for living We were in school when it happened. When I lost my family it was almost noon. Maybe an hour before the siren had gone off earlier this day, but now we were in line outside. "Here comes a plane" I heard a classmate say. I looked up to see the plane and saw only white. I had begun to wonder why I didn't see blue, as I gazed there into the white, it began to be replaced by objects. A flaming tree, smoke, and I realized I was no longer standing in line. I realized I was on the ground, looking up into a tree. I had been thrown. How far? I don't know. I do not know why the realization was so slow to me, but I hadn't occurred to me for what seemed like minutes, that the Americans had dropped a bomb on us. I began to go for home. Everything was so hot. I remember that the most. The heat. My face, my body was all so hot. Every building I saw was on fire. A ten year old girl I was frightened. As I went I heard screaming in a house that was on fire. It was a boy and his mother. The boy was screaming to his mom "it's hot mamma, it's hot, and why is it so hot in here?" He just kept screaming. The mother was crying. She screamed for her son, trying to reassure him. He was lucky to have heard his mom's voice before he died. Even though it was gasping sobs, I remember she was screaming "I will die with you son. You will not die alone, but with your mother. Keep brave son, I love you, I will die with you." at the same time a neighbor man I think was pulling her from the fire. The man had no shirt on; his back was red and looked like meat. I didn't have the courage to help, I only had the courage to go home. I wanted my own mom.
It wasn't my mom I ran into on the way home, but my sister. I could not recognize her, her face was black. She looked at me with horror, and begged for water. I didn't have water of course. So we walked together. I don’t' know how much time passed. It started to rain. We held our tongues out to catch it, but we couldn't catch enough. It was big rain; it hurt to be hit by it. It was then I realized my face must be so burnt. My body must be too. I started to look at myself. My clothes were rags. Skin was hanging off me everywhere. It was so hot. We were so thirsty. Walking we came upon a big bin full of water. They used it to put out fires when they would break out in the city. People were stuffing themselves in it, and there was no room for us. I thought of hitomi as we walked towards the river, towards the center of the blast.
My sister died at the river. We tried to get to the other side. The bridge was not there anymore. I used someone’s body as a raft. My sister did too. That was the last time I ever saw her. Floating across that river felt good. I put my face in there, and drank a little. The coolness on my face felt the best, I didn't even care that people were dead in there. I took some water with me, the air was so stifling. Everyone was calling for water. They would scream for it. This is how I killed three people, by giving them water. They would beg I would give them the can I had full of water, they would take long draws of water, then hold their stomachs, and cry in pain as they died. I didn’t know any better, and after the third one I started to call it the can of death, and threw it from me. I was very scared that I would die from it too.
I reached where my home was before this blast. Its fire was almost out; the whole thing was on the ground. I looked for my grandma. I looked through the bodies lying everywhere. It was hard to recognize anyone. None of them had any eyes; some had no head at all. I found one with a gold tooth. This was my grandma. What does a ten year old girl do? She held a smaller male with her. That must have been my brother. How I loved them dearly. Looking for a place to sit, I crossed many bodies. The babies stick in my mind the most. All black, All burnt, All looking into eternity with soulless eyes. Some of them were still on fire. I could see the screams still on people’s absent lips. And as I looked into the city of Nagasaki, I saw nothing. No cathedral, no buildings. Just smoke and fire, and nothing. How did everything disappear?
That was the first day. I wandered around for days, and found other survivors like me. Some didn’t last long. Some died quickly. Some got bruises, and very sick, then died. some died of starvation. We ate whatever we found. We only didn’t eat two things. People, because they were always rotten, and cats. They were to fast to catch. We were labeled pika don. We were shunned. A young boy told me some Americans were to come visit us. I made a plan to speak with an American. The young boy was another survivor of my school he was playing soccer, he chased the ball into a ditch, he bent down to pick up the ball, and when he stood up, everything was gone. Later he went to America to run a prison for them. He only returned at the end of his life to die. He took his own life with a sword.
I counted the days to when the Americans would come. Men came around and examined us. The Americans wanted women to bring back to America. They gave these women surgery to make them look ok again. But nothing can restore a hand. The Americans did come. I was there. My face hadn’t healed very well at all. I barely looked human. I walked up and told him very silently, “you killed my dear grandma. You killed all my school friends, and my brother. You made me look like this. I’m not human anymore. I’ve eaten rats. I’ve fought strangers to eat bugs. I want to know this: why? Why did you do this to me?”
The young blonde American soldier blinked at me. He didn’t speak Japanese. He smiled at me, at my ruined life, and offered me a piece of gum as payment for my family’s death.
I did not know what to do next. I could not imagine my life going until I was old. I wandered for days. I came upon a young woman standing on a set if train tracks. She was going to kill herself. But she didn’t. at the end she stepped out of the way, sobbing. I thought to ask her why.
“this is the place my sister killed herself yesterday. I decided I would come today and kill myself too. But I couldn’t. my dear sister had the courage to die. I have only the courage to live.” I took her to where I had been sleeping. We stayed there for some time, and one day I woke up, and she was dead.
I no longer have the courage to live. Tomorrow I will go to the train track.
A man told me when I was a child people are born crying, and when they are done crying, they die. I never knew what he was talking about. I was so young. It was such a short time ago. I might think about it for a while. But an old woman told me life is too short to think too much about.

the blog of boredom. yours not mine

well, this particular blog may be loaded with boredom. i will forgive the reader his disinterest.

first the hunt. no. first i suppose i'll start with my sisters wedding.

we went to california for my sisters wedding. i walked her down the isle in my blues. (my dress blues, not mood wise) it was a pretty and charming wedding. a man insulted me, and didn't know it. he saw me loading lila into the car, her in her dress, and me in my uniform. lila was in, and he said to me "congratulations!" i don 't marry my sister retard.
that's a joke. it really happened. but of course, how could a person be insulted from good intention?
actually, it happens a lot. the path to hell is paved with good intentions. i guess.
we stayed in a little hotel on the boarder of mexico. it was a charming little place.
Liz gave a toast, as she was lila's maid of honor. it want' a bad toast. we went to coronado beach. it had a lot of sea weed. it was fun, and i spent the entire day trying to body surf. apparently i don't get bored because of something so simple as repetition.
my cousin colter lives out there, we spent some time with him and his wife. it was fun. he had surf boards, so we tried to surf. as soon as he was out there, and i was out there. i lost him. i knew not where he went. so i tried alone. then let lila, she did it wonderfully. then others. Gid and Josh came eventually.... josh being my cousin. i wish they would've come earlier. i always feel bad like i'm leaving someone out.
Colter and his wife also gave us tickets to the padres v phillies game. it was good. they were good seats. the padre's won. i rather like watching baseball when it's not on tv. sometimes during baseball season, sarah and i will stop at a field around wellsville, and watch the kids play. only if we have nothing else really to do anyway.

when we came back, i was anxious to hunt. it's elk season now if you're an archer. i hiked for two straight days. all over creation, and saw nothing. nothing elk wise anyway. i saw a lot of deer, and a moose with a baby.

last year i was chased by a moose. it turns out that may have inspired a phobia within me. when i saw this moose (both times i saw it) my heart came nearly out of my mouth. i knocked an arrow, and backed away from it. it ran the other way. but when i was backing away, i stumbled on a bedded down deer doe. it jumped up and ran. i decided i wanted to leave. it's a good thing too, by the time i got to the parking lot i was terrified, and it was dark. actually, i was terrified because it was dark long before i got to the parking lot, and i couldn't find my light. that's not all, i think maybe a mountain lion had his eyes on me, because something followed me all the way back to the parking lot. all the way i would hear rustling, so i would stop. it would stop. i would see even where it was rustling, but i saw no animal. i would stand there for ten minutes deciding whether or not to shoot an arrow into the bush. then i would be scared i was wasting light, and walk quickly. i went on the wrong path, and had to back track. it followed. when i got to the parking lot, i waited for 45 minutes for my ride. in the dark. dogs howled, and whatever followed me back lost interest as i watched "home movies" episodes on my zune. they made me more scared because i couldn't hear if something was closing in on me or not. but i watched thinking to myself that if somthing was going to kill me, or sneak up on me. it would be sarah's fault for not meeting me at dark in the parking lot.
of course, what if she crashed on the way up here, and is dead? i'll wait till at least morning!
at last she came.
three days later we found elk. it was the weekend. we were hiking a familiar old trail, when a moo cow, black, bolted out of a bush. the same bush a moose began chasing me from. i looked quite the fool when i ran twenty feet before i realized i wasn't dying.

for three or four years, i have had a half built shed (shoddily done anyway) in my back yard. everyone knows about this yes, no?
well, my mom's friend choco sold us 8 roosters for about three dollars a piece.
instead of just killing all of them, we killed two, and put the rest into this shed, which we made into a ghetto chicken coop. today they got out. sarah put them back in, and one got out.
this is sad.
she tied it's feet so he wouldn't get out until i came home, and could mend the shed. chickens, or more specifically, roosters, will peck at something which is vulnerable like that. when i came out to see it it had been bloodied. i untied it's feet, and mended the offending wall of wire. as it got up, the other chickens pecked at it unmercifully. one specifically. the alpha. the one that crows in the morning. the biggest one there is, pecked at it until it was back in it's corner, less vulnerable. it got back up, and was again attacked. it thrust its self against the chicken wire, trying desperately to escape. all the while being pecked at, and attacked. eventually, it lost its will, and just lay down. the bigger rooster pecked at it a little more. it groaned it's relief when the pecking stopped. this time it stayed down. it wouldn't get up no matter how much i poked at it.
so i took it out of the cage. i suppose nothing deserves what that rooster went through. i felt it an especial shame that the best i could do for it was eat it. so i prepared it to be feathered. and lay it's body on the steps.
i went inside with the bloody knife, and sarah knew what i'd done. i recounted the tail to her, and we both thought it proper, and just, that we eat the offender too. and so we're down to four live roosters.
does, or should justice like this extend to roosters? should one feel pity on them? the real shame is that one was harvested for no reason other than it was a victim.

now, don't get me wrong. we'll eat all of them. i'm just saying, the specific circumstance was sad. sarah felt very exeedingly bad. i suppose she'll never tie another chicken down. next time i guess i'll just have to chase it around the yard.

monday is founders day.
labor day i guess to most of you. but for wellsville, it's founders day.
my dad used to organize the sham battle. year after year we would hear the curses of his frustration, and build a small house to burn in the field of wellsville elementary. we would show up early, all of us freezing in the morning, and tired, awakened by the cannon. freezing because we didn't want to bring a coat, which we would later have to take off and hold. the year my dad died i wandered down that way, to the sham battle, it's only a block away now. it opened on a speaker. it's all different now. like everything is now. it's educational, we used to just know the history, if one wanted to know about a tradition, he took the time to learn about it. now they replay it on a loud speaker. the "indians" arent' drunk anymore, and neither are the settlers. fighting is at an all time low. i dont' even think an ambulance came last year. but that year it was on a loud speaker, before it began they dedicated it to my dad. i like that.

also, i've come to realize a pet peeve of mine. while reading a book i discovered it.

when someone dies, and the other people say "he would've wanted it that way" or "he would like that" or someone say's something like "lets invite so and so" (that last example was from "bridge to terribithia" ok, so she died. that's ok. and some of the things that happen after that are ok too. but.... why. why did he have to tell that teacher next time they'll inviter her? she's dead. he doesn't know what that means? dead guy, don't invite her anywhere!

i suppose there is only some new things since the last one.

first the donkey hoof. since that was the last post.
i got them trimmed. they look nice now. he fought it a little, so we had to drug him. after that he cooperated fully, until the drugs were a little too much for him, and he went down. it was no problem really, just waiting for him to get back up after the horseshoer left.

i found out how to get my water rights. and i used them. you know when you water your lawn, and you see bubbles from the water soaking into the ground? imagine your entire lawn bubbling for three hours under two inches of water.
not just that, but also all the pine cones and all the pine needles all grouped together, and was easy to rake them out. so now my lawn isn't being ruined, more than not being ruined... it's very green, and grows quickly. which brings me to two sub subjects.

1. my donkey. he ate the whole thing down again, and i had to move him to a field with the rest of the family's horses. a white horse took a liking to him, and so he's not being picked on at all. they've bonded. i can't even approach the donkey because that horse keeps himself wedged between us all the time.
this also means, he's not getting picked on from the other horses.

2. i cut down a tree. i cut it down, and it crushed my neighbors fence.
he didn't mind though. it was fixed the next day for 0 dollars.


we went to a wedding. the mckeeth wedding in las vegas. we lost all we gambled. and stayed in a very nice place. my friend Trent came with us. a good time was had by all. the wedding was a good one.

we had a family reunion yesterday, well, this weekend at crystal hot springs in honeyville ut.
most of the family camped there, but not me and sarah. it was good to talk to uncles i otherwise don't talk to really. and see cousins i haven't seen for 8 years. it was good to b.s. and harass, and be harassed.
crystal hot springs has the best slide i've ever been on. first i thought it was fun because of the wild turns that left a person disoriented and half drowned. they have pads to go down the slide with. later i found a way to go at such a speed, that instead of just dropping into the water after exiting, i shot all the way to the end, and was stopped by the stairs.

so i got a job too. by the way. i've broken into the electrician business kind of. i don't have a license yet, but i've been helping with the low voltage stuff in the Marriot hotel in logan. that little four story thing by the old maceys.

an awful happening

well, so i'm walking my donkey from my grandma's to my house the other day, and sometime along the way his hoof chipped in an awful way.


this could be for a number of reasons apparently, but unfortunately they all point to negligence on my part. or actually in this case ignorance.

i did know his hoofs needed trimming, but i just plain feel bad. tommorow i will call for an appointment, this apparently can make him lame.

for shame josiah, for shame.

also, i've been asked over the years whether i should like to be called Joe or Josiah. well, i think i've finally realized what it is!

in a formal or official setting, it's josiah. i hate when i transfer to a ward, and the roll call i sign calls me Joe. this is church, calling me a name. that's josiah. of course, josiah can be applied at any time, by any family or friend, as can Joe, Jos, etc etc etc.... but not by something official!

here's me sporting birth control glasses. marine corps issue glasses, same kind as drew carey. i just found these, i don't actually need glasses







ahhh, naked people... sorry to offend.


well, here's a long one maybe... maybe not though.

as usual, the pictures will be at the top...

first, i went to the last marine corps reserve drill i will ever be required to go to. though, i may stay on recruiters assistance for a couple months here in logan.
we went to 29 palms. the first day we went out i was on road guard duty with our tank. it was very loose sand, and in this type of sand, people throw track sometimes, if their driver is inexperienced.

i had an inexperienced driver. we threw track. so there in 105 degree blistering heat, and with a swarm of bee's (of which i'm deathly allergic) hovering around us, trying to drink our sweat, we broke track, and re attached it. a very arduous process which took all day. and since it's the marine corps, the higher ups were pissed. it didn't affect them in any way, but apparently it was bad any way? ridiculous.
later, we drove over a large amount of concertina wire. this ruins your final drives. makes them leak. so we spent five hours taking it out, instead of sleeping. hard work can ruin any night.
these were just two highlights of the excursion, of course any two weeks in the desert with no showers, and no trips to anywhere to buy anything, and nothing but mre's and a wierd disgusting hot chow that somehow all tastes the same but worse, is going to be a bad two weeks. very miserable.
here's my favorite part about the whole thing though.
the attitude of co-workers at a civilian job. these two weeks were pretty much like war, we ever shot some main gun, etc etc etc. really, the whole thing is very very similar. pretty much we came back from two weeks of non dangerous war. and a boss has the inclination (i almost guarantee it was said to everyone, as it's been said to me countless times) "so, how was your vacation? i hope you enjoyed it while we were stuck here working".

jerks

after that i went back to california for seths being sealed and blessed. a very happy occasion for some, but liz and i both couldn't shake the feeling we were supposed to be happy that our son was sealed away from us for eternity. who began as Seth David Maughan, named after his Great grandpa, and also his grandpa on his other side, my first son, my only link to happiness of the past is now seth david carlson. blessed signed and sealed. now named after some guy's grandpa. and some lady's dad, but not the name, nor in the family i'm most proud of. (oh, hey polly...)

we skipped the rest of church to go to ghiradelli sqare in san francisco. we took bart there, and walked the rest.
we accidently went to the gay pride parade. naked people everywhere. my wife saw her first black... well, i'll actually not finish that. we walked through china town, and finally to the square. the walk made all that chocolate ice cream delicious, and made the bus ride back better. we saw all sorts of flamers, trans sexuals, and straight naked people (i assume) even the cop i asked for directions was a flamer.

i brought my donkey back to my house, as anticipated, he began eating baby tree's. well, not really, only one. i have them all protected with tomato cones, but he found his way through one of them. it's my hopes my yard is too forest like for him to really see them. some died, though i don't think it's a permanent death. and as long as one lived, it's all i really need as they are very simple to propogate.

a post of pictures

i'll go in order of events here.

so we visited texas. on the way there we stopped in at the billie the kid museum, where charlie was arrested. this is him in jail.




the amazing thing about this museum has always been the calf with three two bodies. it's been there for years. one head two bodies. there is no way to get a good picture of it. like those giant tree's.... how do you show how magnificent they are?

also, we found out he doesn't really like that lion. here's him in an argument with him.

he was very bored sitting int the same position facing away from everyone for those twenty hours. poor kid. he did really well though. he was a good sport. it was the way back that he didn't really like.


next we went to the lake. lake nasworthy. that is in san angelo. if that name sounds familiar, it should, it's the same place they took those flds kids. well, so we swam. i didn't mean to get shorts that were the same color as my skin, but here they are. i'll add a bunch of small pictures for this. actually, i won't do anything in order, i'll post pictures and explain them. this one, the one that i'm fat in, is just me pretending to be a fish. or a whale.






everyone has one aunt i'm sure, that pinches your cheeks. this was that aunt. aunt lucy. really, she's my mom's aunt.


we're at the lake here. there's a family guy episode, where he's going to tell a racist joke, so before, he looks everywhere. he looks around corners, etc etc etc. and when it comes time for the punchline, a black guy pops out of the potted plant and asks whats up. the joke is then changed to teach black ideals. right here in the picture, i'm telling a black joke, and one car away is the biggest black man i've ever seen.


the moral of the story? don't. don't tell black jokes, unless you're in utah.

here's gideon and mayra. on my grandma's porch

so me and my cousins daughter alura got into an argument. for a long time we repeated ourselves before it got physical. and she has a twin sister named seven that backs her up. so what'd i have to do? after this offending punch, things got a little out of hand

this is me body slamming seven. i guess she'll think twice before sticking up for her very argumentative sister....

awww, an adorable little girl annemarie. my cousins daughter. my cousin is very pretty too. who is named belen, which i think means bethlehem. a very beautiful name... though i think it's just a middle name.. .i don't really know, but i think her first name is norma.

and my uncle fred. always the nicest guy i've known, i've never known this man to be angry. i accidently got him a diet pepsi, instead of a regular... and he said...."diet" like he was dissappointed. where i would've been angry. i know that's not really a good example, but... i guess i don't have one.
i hope he restores those vehicles he's been wanting too.

we went back to lake nasworthy the next day. this time near a water fall. we put charlie in the water (the temperature was 100 that day.... so we let him try it out) he was scared with the current, and cold of course. but it wasn't long, and i think in the end, he kind of enjoyed it.



my uncle fred again. with his third son josh and his three kids. seven, allura, and rannin. i'm not sure if i spelled any of those right. it's good to see that man smiling. i can't imagine how happy he was then, seeing his children and grandchildren. it's not that common.

am i in a movie here? no. lake nasworthy. yes. i am that white.




this is interesting, we were trying to make gideon look like he was walking on water. no, if you zoom in, or look closely, you can see that he's actually drowning someone.




we went to a wedding too. this is me cleaned up.





my cousins. so here's my family on that side. my uncle fred's biological children include scott, josh, brian, erica, and beaudilio. the children from umparo is named, belen, mayra, and mario.
this is belen mayra, and erica. erica has always reminded us of two people. my mom, and my sister.

this is my abuelita. i love seeing her with my son. he threw up all over her though. very cute old lady. and amazing. so there's something i want you to see. so go down to the house pictures.

umparo and rannin


so like i said i was a little hot in texas. so i enjoyed an otter pop, and my son enjoyed a bottle.

this is unrelated, but i lived with a man once. that's not the story though. we were sitting around asking eachother what we wanted to be when we "grew up" when we were children. some people say cop, fireman, dancer etc etc etc. this man wanted to be the ceo of otter pop. he even wrote them to apply for a job in fifth grade.....

dream on drew. dream on.





here's where i want you to see how amazing my grandma is. every window in this house has been updated by her. those cabinets you see she carried in herself. none of the walls had drywall on them. she put drywall up all over the house including the ceiling, painted it, and installed all these things. her parents built this house. her mom died here. it's a very small crooked house, with no foundation. she also dug under it, and lifted parts of it with a jack, and threw bricks underneath to keep it steady.

this is the back of the house.




seven. pretty picture of her.